My Path To The Firefly. . .

If I Wanted Someone

2012-01-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

"like the memory from your mother’s house
from before you got too old
like the feeling from a photograph
before it’s meanings all got told
the words I say can be silver,
but what’s left unsaid can be gold
so get to know me once I go away

maybe ‘cause I come
from such an empty-hearted town
or maybe ‘cause some love of mine
had really let me down
but the only time I am lonely
is when others are around
I just never end up knowing what to say

if I wanted someone to clean me up,
I’d find myself a maid
if I wanted someone to spend my money,
I wouldn’t need to get paid
if I wanted someone to understand me,
I’d have so much more to say
I want you to make the days move easy

I took everything I thought
from what it means to be a man
we need words to be put
to what we do not understand
while you lean into the echoes
and you do not raise a hand
oh woman, help me see it like it is

if I wanted someone to cut me down,
I’d have handed you the blade
I want you to make the days move easy
I just want you to make the days move easy"...

bE bRaVe

2011-11-25T09:14:00.001-08:00

The Barr Brothers

2011-11-02T11:36:00.001-07:00

THE BARR BROTHERS - Ooh, Belle from Mitch Fillion (southernsouls.ca) on Vimeo.

lovely fool

2011-10-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

let it go

2011-10-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by jabelico

~If you wanna fly,
you got to give up
that shit that
weighs you down.~

Toni Morrison

glitter

2011-10-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by jabelico

"When my mind swallows me whole
with it’s mocking ‘how do you do?’
I go to my corner of silence
and hold glitter in my hand
to throw into the sky,

in the hope that it might

show freedom to me in tears

When my heart aches with a sadness
for my world that has gone mad
I climb into a moment of respite
and let a shining song wash over me
so in the sparkling I might see

a glimmer of hope in today

Today I found myself breathing
hot and dry air on my scar
and saw the rusted chains
that keeps me captive to the ground
so I reach in,

but not a sound

my glitter, there is none".

(cat, your truth is my mirror)

raw

2011-09-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

"oil pastel by jabelico"

In the tender
raw places
in the barren
and grieving spaces
there is medicine.
Be still.
And in your stillness
listen.
The soul sings
inside the silence
it's music a hymn
to the gentlest grace.
Listen to the lullaby.
It is balm for the heart
ease for the mind.
Like the sage says:
"True medicine is found
inside
the
wound."

solitude

2011-09-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

It is not physical solitude that actually separates one from others; not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others. How often in a large city, shaking hands with my friends, I have felt the wilderness stretching between us. Both of us were wandering in arid wastes, having lost the springs that nourished us -- or having found them dry. Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be re-found through solitude.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

the sweet beautiful blue

2011-07-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

Untitled from Jabelico on Vimeo.

oh... the morning's
I think they were the best,
awaking at the edge
of such a sweet delicious blue...
the sun
poking it's head out so quietly
gently nudging us to come and play
each morning...
connecting
swirling
jumping
floating
completely
saturated
in the sweet, sweet blue.

Hafiz

2011-06-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

We have not come here to take prisoners,
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
Those aspects of obedience
That stand outside of our house
And shout to our reason
"O please, O please,
Come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom and
Light!

~ Hafiz ~

2011-05-28T21:30:00.001-07:00

Butterfly mornings
Butterfly mornings
Catch me there
Gonna get me there
If I have to climb
All the mountains on the moon
I'll be in butterfly mornings
Butterfly mornings
And wild flower afternoons

I found you in the corner
Down there sitting on the sea
Gonna trace your footsteps
Underneath the waves
On the petals of a wild flower
With the sun high at noon
I want walks in butterfly mornings
And wild flower afternoons

Butterfly mornings
Wild flower afternoons

i wish

2011-05-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

i wonder?
how many wishes have made the journey
on a wisp of a breeze
carried softly to that place
where wishes live & wishes often die.
how many lips
softly whispered a wish
sanguinely watching each puff
flutter high…
a tiny beacon of hope
as the world rushes by.

making sense of it

2011-05-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

"Make the invisible dark force beautiful.
Create a song out of your moans.
Brag about your wounds.
Dance reverently on the graves of your enemies.
Does any of this make sense to you so far?
It all seemed perfectly reasonable
and helpful in my dream.
Sneak a gift to your bad self.
Dissolve the ties that bind you
to hollow intelligence.
Seek the angel near the funky gulley
that winds through no man's land.
Dig for treasure in the muddy puddle
where the single lily grows.
That's it,
if you can align yourself with its spirit,
I bet you'll be primed
for the waking-life opportunities
that are headed our way".

carry on....

longing

2011-04-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by jabelico

My
heart
longs
for
the
sweet
days
of
summer.

beautiful boy

2011-04-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

With you there is no control
merely a cool exterior that hides
the one who dares to dream
of willow trees and swaying happiness
of a connection and pure intentions that seem….

to touch me in places unknown before
the hide away corners I thought to be locked
and buried under countless moments of control.
Here you move me like a morning wind
like the ocean tides that continue to roll….

with eb and flows that contain beauty
in every gentle swell and brutal break
With you time itself moves with grace
and is marked with a surging lightness of being
that will forever leave a powerful trace….

of feeling delicate as silk
yet stronger than any storm
with you there is no norm…

with you
I am
shameless

(i feel you cat). . .

sleep

2011-04-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

I will not grow tired
of crayon stars and fire
the sunlight has punctured
tiny holes of life

I closed my eyes
I held my breath
I prayed for light
and gasped for oxygen
it wasn't there
I couldn't see
I prayed for light
to scare the shadow out of me.

enough

2011-03-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

Enough enough doldrums drams, and drudgery, my limbs are heavy with non-compliance, And my mind bursting it seems, with words and images, its composed calmness a folio of offloading, I overflow, I navigate winding worm holes throughout life’s general mishmash, “it’s a mixed bag” they say “and the spice of life” but there’s no heavy petting, keep your head down, and cleverly disguise your misdemeanors in labels, groups and genres, an assemblage of misfits are we, enough enough, I’m so weary.

Enough enough sighs, shams and spitfires, this mortal needs peace, just a small piece of land to twirl and sing with conviction, I’m occupied with the woods and rivers and I can no longer contain myself in, brick, metal and wire, society’s heavy bulkhead of fortification, sucking the air. Terra firma calls me, claiming my lungs and loins with spores and pollen, planting seeds in my mind and womb, its blissful abandonment. Social order is in disarray, and I’m going under, I rage, I rampage, quietly, on the face of things, a smile for a while, it appears to be slipping, enough enough I’m fading.

Enough enough, vandals, voids and vampires, they suck drain and bewilder, leaving me broken, forlorn and empty, I’m fighting for who I am, but not sure what that is yet, the only sense I make, is a breeze on a tree, it whispers to me, “come home”, I have a burning in the heart of me, that matter doesn’t matters, it just expresses who resides inside, we are socially chastised and constrained and I yearn for pastures new, lush greens, burnt umbers and soft mellow, it travels to the eye so swift and calms the psyche, leaving self behind, a friend in kind and comfort, enough enough no more I’m already gone…

By Nikki Ella Whitlock

despite

2011-02-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

Who wrote the book of rules
of what defines the strong?
To be able to get lost in a dream
to savor the salt of a tear.
Weak perhaps, it does seem. . .

to the unyielding,the closed
the jaded, the non seeker walker?
Is surrender a flaw you say?
When you choose to give it all
despite the price you might pay?

Is truth a breed gone extinct?
Tenderness and compassion lost?
Self gain the only winning way
in this world gone all wrong?
So I will take a stand today. . .

and say that the bread of life is mine
the wine is tasting oh so sweet

for I will love

and hurt and learn

dream and fly

stumble and fall

for the ultimate

I will always yearn.

despite. . .

~catherine . . . I believe~

that kind of life

2011-02-16T15:55:00.000-08:00

"I'm not sure where to go from here," I said.

"It is an independence", he said.
You see life
through your own eyes,
not through other's.
You are in search of the adventure,
of being alive.
Your reality does not
coincide with other people.
Happiness would be feeling
satisfied with everything
you already have.
But like me,
you were not born for that kind of life".

Ok.

So like I said,
where do we go from here?

and he said,
"how about a walk down by the sea"?

emiliana

2011-01-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

Let's stay awake
and listen to the dark
Before the birds,
before they all wake up
It's the ending of a play
And soon begins another
Hear,
the leaves applaud the wind

See the sun come rising
And white-wings start to fly
Like strings of pearls in the firey sky
I don't want to close my eyes
Don't want to leave the stage now
The leaves applaud our stay

Lend me your wings
and teach me how to fly
Show me,
when it rains
The place you go to hide
And the curtains draw again
And bow another day ends

The
leaves
applaud
the
wind

Emiliana, you ARE beautiful. . .

2011-01-23T15:08:00.001-08:00

a gentle reminder

2011-01-19T19:54:00.001-08:00

watercolor & PS by Jabelico

Reminding myself to . . .

~ Just Float ~

hold on

2011-01-12T13:23:00.001-08:00

i wait

2011-01-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

Stranded I await
for signs, for answers
that may come my way
In a day, a word, a gesture
and when it comes, what would I say?

For the path to walk is so unclear
My tide is low, my movement lost
Where to go, a mystery to me
Rooted, in this space of now
My final port, I don’t see

Don’t want to falter
don’t want to fall
don’t want to sink
into an unknown hole
Just await, the best, I think

It will come, it will tell
and then I shall answer
with a clarity of voice
in this circus of a world
I will make my choice

and so I await
for my tide to come in
Entire being reaching
to be carried to the place
where my heart and mind would be meeting.

which way?

2011-01-02T20:48:00.000-08:00

courage

2010-12-31T18:04:00.000-08:00

It takes a lot of courage to release
the familiar and seemingly secure,
to embrace the new.
But there is no real security
in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous
and exciting,
for in movement there is life,
and in change there is power.

~Alan Cohen~

HELLO
*2011*
Bring it on!!!

a r t

2010-11-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

2010-11-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

Engulfed in the ice of melancholy,
sadness dissects my joy
into sections of discontent.

My aching heart stutters and
craves for days that are all blue
with shadows that unlock spirits acquiescence.

The unrest of sadness tortures thoughts
hi jacking emotional harmony,
spinning a fabrication of forgotten dreams.

An unrelenting grey sky sadistically
uncoils my heart, poisoning my veins
with suspicions snake called self doubt.

Frozen creativity rumbles disturbed
by light deprivation followed by night.
Salty tears sting itchy eyes that blur disrupted by the
knowledge that sadness is beautiful.

And if you dream it,
happiness and sunlight will come.

2010-11-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

"The
fire
of
pain
traces
for
my
soul

a
luminous
path
across
her
sorrow."

~ Rabindranath Tagore ~

I Wish

2010-10-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

"I wish...
the opportunity to speak your truth
(whether you are heard or not,
but I wish for you to be heard
at least once,
in a big way,
to know how that feels)...
To walk at the pace that feels good for you
(curling up in a ball counts).
The opportunity to live your day to day life
the way you would love to see
the rest of the world live...
That you know who your resources are
and that you turn to them
when you need some help
and that you have the courage
to reach out.
I wish you humor in everything,
no matter how serious it is...
I wish you awareness
of your connection to everything
no matter how disconnected
we all may feel from each other.
I wish you love for all parts of yourself,
including the parts
that you think are utterly unlove-able.
I wish you endless expression
in whatever form,
whether it's in how you dress
or how you speak
or how you cut your vegetables.
I wish you freedom from any box
or construct that doesn't encourage life in you.
I wish you big overstuffed pillows
to fall into
when you are despondent
and spent and lost.
I wish you faith in the moments
where it seems stupid and foolish to have it.
I wish you moments of blissful solitude
and yummy community
and safe intimacy
in the doses that feel best.
I wish you moments of feeling like a student,
equal and teacher....
all roles spent with you in your power...
I wish you gratitude
for all that you have
and boot strap up-pulling
for when you want to move forward
into entirely unknown territory,
for that is where I believe
liberation and growth
is most often found.....

I wish this for you.

And I wish this for me."

atlantis

2010-10-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

A song
for you
for me,
of another time...
a beautiful time....

a time of

love
&
courage.

"Just close your eyes,
and listen"....

***sigh***

now is the time

2010-10-02T08:19:00.001-07:00

Now is the Time
Bloom Where You are Planted

There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming.

Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois.

There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesnt really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are.

We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditionsifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves.

*Daily Om*

where I go

2010-09-28T11:02:00.001-07:00

pursuit of happiness

2010-09-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

Dedicated
to
my
inner
raw,
rock star!!!

Lissie, you rock my world!!

Po Girl

2010-09-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

"Let's take the long way
cause I like the view
go by the shoreline look at the moon
Take the long way
watch the sunrise
listen to the radio all through the night
The rain can't dampen us
drive on through
til the sun shines on us dries up the dew
Take the long way
cause I like the view
go by the shoreline look at the moon
Savour the silence and stroke my back
Sing to me softly of secrets and the stories
lost between the cracks
This moment is stardust it has already passed
But you are so bright,
so bright in my mind and our moonlit mass

Lookin for love in all the wrong places
I guess I got one of those faces,
Down and out of the window pane
leaving the carnegie down on Hastings and Main,
I step out into another blizzard,
into a yellow cab lizard,
The driver's an old wise somalian wizard,
I'm just a young mc potty-mouth
I tell him to take the back roads headed south,
From the meadow to the ghetto
come equiped to the red-light district
after a performance
I did for nickels and cents,
He says you're crazy,
I said it doesn't faze me,
My love's not lazy ,
I'm here to amaze thee,
Heck you amazed at this? bitch,
I got a brew like miles davis,
I walked away with that floatin around his head
two girls smiling at what I just said,
You want a hit of this joint he says
okay alright brother just leave it in the ashtray,
Commercial success,
sexdrive I lick the honey in the hive,
And I can tribal feel this love vibe
as I look into another country's tribe,
I brush my teeth like kool keith
I paint in water colours like georgia o'keefe
My graffiti flex kill and that's keepin it brief,
those who got will
Get even more if you don't waste your gifts
you'll get another four...
Be a spirit not a ghost on the west coast,
listen to patti smith and as the clouds shift,
Sun down,
Big Sur,
the view is killer
by the old homestead of henry miller,
don't worry bout your final destination
you'll get there soon,
stare at the stars,
they're the children of the sun and the moon."

2010-08-30T11:04:00.001-07:00

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost ~

Japanese Tea Gardens * San Francisco

mad or ?

2010-08-24T17:09:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by ~ Jabelico ~

"The tragedy is
I will never be mad
enough. . .
And always
a bit too mad."

A.M.

o p e n

2010-08-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

~ ashes & snow~

"open heart like a flower in the sun
fingers touch the sky that weeps
as petals lick the skin wet
dreams of the elusive rain drop
a seductive key to pandora’s lock

clarify the gypsy vision
radiate colors that caress
shiver the hot breath quivers near the restless
eyes that look deep into the heart
and do not miss a beat

shape, form, content present
arrested by the soul that speaks
behind the mask of mystery
and the allure of articulate grace
the twitch, the flicker, the sensitivity of your face

penetrating colors cannot hide
the constant hunger that illuminates
the subtext behind the words in ink
pulsating feelings that grow more ripe
as sounds pass inside the illusion of
your elegant dream

dancing with the luminous silence
questions are asked more than answered
respect the difference
yearning for statements that have meaning
beyond the limitations of the moment
outside the confines of an intellectual rhyme

a blood beating heart
pieces back together
growing bigger beyond imagination
colors expanding, mind illuminating
the power of the raw beauty of a heart
that feels without condition

ah, a dream, a vision, a raw truth
to see, to imagine, to touch, to feel
an unconditional heart exists
still lives boom boom boom
in divine grace still beats"

d r u m

2010-07-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

My 9 yr old daughter & I
were recently hiking thru the woods of Maine...
we happened across an old abandoned cabin.
As I was exploring around,
she plopped herself down on the front porch
and began with her drum....

feeling the energy
the beauty
echoing thru the trees
connecting with all that is pure & raw...
past & present...
it was very haunting
very beautiful.

"I pick up my drum.
There's a deep awed silence
- a revered stillness -
in the moments of anticipating
what that first stroke
to my drum will create
for a sound vibration and
what that will do to my soul.
I let go and make contact
falling in love
with the vibrations,
which are not only heard clearly,
but felt deeply in my heart and body.
Before long,
the sounds create within me some
earth based exotic impulse to move.
compelled to move,
I follow this urge and very quickly
my movement turns to dance.
Dancing - my soul lightens -
freeing me to expand.
I am inspired.
These acts of dancing and drumming
bring sacred spirit's light into myself.
I call thanks to all the great beings
of the universe for helping me to satisfy
this great primitive longing in me.
I realize doing what makes me joyful
fosters gratitude.
I know having a grateful heart makes me
an instrument of God's peace.

I drum.
I move.
I dance.

I bring light into myself.
I bring joy into the world.
I am an instrument of God's peace".

the seeker

2010-07-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

THE WAY OF A SEEKER

I seek knowledge of everything,
a vaulting if impetuous ambition.
My journey on this earth,
like yours,
is a privilege.
I don't want to miss a thing.
My practice of the art of photography
is not a career devoted
to making images with a camera
for various commercial uses.
Nor is it simply to make images
for transformation into “fine art.”
I employ my camera
in a symbiotic relationship with myself,
just as the sword is the soul of a samurai.
It is a tool to discover
and re-invent the world
—every far-flung part of it—
art,
science,
man made and natural phenomenons,
everything,
everywhere.
It is a tool for viewing,
examination,
deciphering and introspection,
much as our human eyes will become
if we teach them how to see.

TOM STOPPARD

Be In Joy

2010-05-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by ~ Jabelico ~

Joy is an elixir,
a healing balm.
When you radiate a vibration of joy
there is a chemical shift
within your body
which is reflected in the response
of your reality.
You will bypass
the usual stress of worry
to a more conscious relaxed state
of mind and heart.
Joy clears the way
for incredible miracles.

Smile as you answer the phone,
make a meal
and pay your bills.
Smile at your reflection
in the mirror.
Smile as you fall asleep.
Smile when you think.
Rejoice with your breath,
smile for no reason,
smile into the moment.
Imagine you have a joy muscle,
stretch it,
expand it
and fully express it.

Laugh,
giggle,
radiate cheerfulness,
practice being light-hearted,
carefree,
and elated about
the blessings in your life.
Be
happy,
rejoice,
enjoy.

*Be In Joy*

"Metaphysical Inspirations"

2010-05-17T12:00:00.001-07:00

to dance with the joy
of your 5 year old self
feeling lighter than air
for there is someone
that loves you out there

that feels you and wants you
takes you and holds you
with all the wrongs you might be
but for him you are just beauty
and perfection is all he can see

to sit in the dark
alone in dead silence
and wish for the day
to leave while praying
that sanity would stay

asking for atonement
in all the wrong places
seeking a way to mend
a cracked bleeding soul
a place to make the hurt end

such complexity encompass
the simple fact that we are one
just human, the same
in this upside down
gloriously beautiful game

until

life throws at you a knife
that can cut into hope
make you bleed out
all your lust for life

there I stand alone
wishing, wanting
praying, chanting
to turn into stone

what a gloriously beautiful game
we play…..

catherine, you are love.

let the darkness guide you

2010-05-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

jabelico~2010

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb tonight.
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was meant to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness
and the sweet confinement
of your aloneness
to learn anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you...

~David Whyte

i walk alone

2010-05-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

jabelico~2010

today
the
real
journey
begins

Sand Dancer

2010-04-29T12:40:00.000-07:00

"This is love,
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First to let go of life.
Finally,
to take a step without feet.

When you do things from your soul,
you feel a river moving in you, a joy".
~Rumi

dear pete,

your inspiration is boundless

a gift
for a world so in need of

your magic
your wisdom
your vision

thank you dear man

dance on,

oh wonderous soul...

mud fest

2010-04-19T11:53:00.001-07:00

well,

it started out as a
vegetable garden, but....
as luck would have it....
it turned out to be a mud bath!

a
glorious
love filled
head to toe
sun drenched
mud~fest!!!

Yep. . . Pure "American Honey".......

vessel of love

2010-04-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

9 years old now

i just love
watching
your spirit soar

so brave
so lovely
so strong & true

my own little warrior
for all that is beauty~full. . .

I'll Never Grow Up

2010-03-16T03:11:00.000-07:00

~ tootles ~

"I have a place where dreams are born,
And time is never planned.
It's not on any chart,
You must find it with your heart.
Never Never Land.

It might be miles beyond the moon,
Or right there where you stand.
Just keep an open mind,
And then suddenly you'll find
Never Never Land.

You'll have a treasure if you stay there,
More precious far than gold.
For once you have found your way there,
You can never, never grow old.

And that's my home where dreams are born,
And time is never planned.
Just think of lovely things.
And your heart will fly on wings,
Forever in Never Never Land.

You'll have a treasure if you stay there,
More precious far than gold.
For once you have found your way there,
You can never, never grow old.

And that's my home where dreams are born,
And time is never planned.
Just think of lovely things.
And your heart will fly on wings,
Forever
in Never Never Land" . . .

~Peter Pan~

peter & the lost boys ~2010~

an angel by the sea

2010-03-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

2.28.10

the sea was wild today..
wild and free. . .
the air so salty & sweet

I closed my eyes
and you were there
with sea shells & sea glass
and sea flowers in your hair. . .

dear amy

2010-02-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

~ if tears could build a stairway
and memories were a lane,
i would walk right up to heaven
to bring you home again....
no farewell words were spoken....
no time to say good-bye.
you were gone before we knew it,
and only God knows why...
my heart aches in sadness
these secret tears they flow...
what it meant to lose you,
no one will ever know. ~

.....beautiful, beautiful amy......

i love you.
can you hear me?
god, i hope you can hear me...

thank you for being my friend...
for loving me...
for inspiring me.....
for being so damn beautiful...

i am a better person
and forever changed
by your presence in my life

fly beautiful angel....

fly

fly

fly

your soul sister ~ J.

henry

2010-02-22T14:11:00.001-08:00

"Develop an interest in life as you see it;

the people,
things,
literature,
music
the world is so rich,
simply throbbing with rich treasures,
beautiful souls and interesting people.
Forget yourself".

"Why are we so full of restraint?
Why do we not give in all directions?
Is it fear of losing ourselves?
Until we do lose ourselves
there is no hope of finding ourselves".

"The aim of life is to live,
and to live means to be aware,
joyously,
drunkenly,
serenely,
divinely aware".

~Henry Miller~

Romping around Big Sur this weekend,
I came across these amazing sculptures
in the garden of Henry Miller's library,
tucked away , hidden in the forest
under a canopy of
majestic redwoods ...
each time I go there,
I can feel his spirit...
his energy awakens the magic
and wisdom
of the deepest part of my core.

Oh! What I would give to sit with Henry
on a blissful foggy
rainy afternoon...
to talk
to drink
to create
to look into his eyes
to explore
his deepest parts...

oh...such yearning.......

blue~moon

2010-02-19T19:28:00.001-08:00

jabelico ~ 2010

"The sirens sing
songs of longing
to the blue moon of winter,
blue-hearted drum
of the seas.
They offer it pearls,
minute moons, votive images
wrapped in blue seaweed
& dance it the dizzy
dance of the tides".

If Only. . .

2010-02-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

. . .we could just hold on,
to the all knowing "magic"of childhood. . .
with all of our might!

Belle & Jonathon ~ 2010

breath

2010-01-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

oil pastel by ~ Jabelico ~

a woman can't survive
by her own breath alone
she must know
the voices of mountains
she must recognize
the foreverness of blue sky
she must flow
with the elusive
bodies
of night wind women
who will take her into
her own self

look at me
i am not a separate woman
i am a continuance
of blue sky
i am the throat
of the sandia mountains
a night wind woman
who burns
with every breath
she takes

~Joy Harjo ~

breaking it open

2010-01-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

"In that moment
when our hearts break
We can choose to remain open
Feel our pain
or shut down.

If we remain open we are raw
We scud through a plethora of emotion:
shock black, anger red
grief grey, growth green
love pink.
The odyssey of pain.

Often the violence of our pain
makes us want to withdraw
like a deer, to lick wounds
like a hermit to fall within ourselves.

If we choose to close down
We divert our minds
Our wounds stay open and
then become crusty and dry
And our heart shrinks, tightens,
and the creative flow…stops.

If we stay open…
vulnerable…fragile everything hurts.
Looks shatter.
Words annihilate to red raw.
We crumble and fragment
And we bleed.

But we survive if we live our emotions
We wear our feelings out until
our tears a continual waterfall on our
face wash the pain away.
And we begin to heal.

Our divine inner child walks
and than dances again
Delicate fragile and raw
our heart breathes
And our creative flow continues
Vulnerable we can create and feel.

And we grow and we reconstruct
and put our pieces back together
Raw, exposed and alone
we draw from our heart
to create beauty
Alchemists and transformers we
recreate ourselves in a new form.

Naked, consumed in the act of creation
engaged and enraptured
we are consumed forever in
creating line by line
brushstroke by brushstroke
colour, line and form
uninhibited and free
creating beauty, creating life
...Creating Heart".

sleeping goddess

2010-01-09T10:28:00.001-08:00

oil pastel by ~ jabelico ~

"To a sleeping goddess"

sweet whispers
of lullaby
from the sea

always bring rest
in the angel's sigh
when I look
I see you sleeping!

your wings
rest by your side
and your smile
shows me
that even in dreams
you dwell
in heavenly places

when awake
your words
are always kind
and even
in your sleeping
you show
compassionate mind

you are the beautiful
one
though your culture
teaches you to deny
still there
is a devotional cry

uttered from my lips
felt from my heart
a song
a song that will not die ~

T.K.

YES?

2010-01-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

oil pastel & PS by ~ Jabelico ~

~Yes to sun on my back and breeze on my eyelids
Yes to shadows that reveal the light
Yes to living fully not partly
Yes to breathing in and listening
to that quiet still voice inside
Yes to keeping your heart open
even when it breaks
Yes to singing in your car
with the volume turned up
Yes to looking in your lovers eyes
and seeing the tears that reside there
Yes to feeling
the spray of the waterfall caress your cheek
Yes to skinny dipping
in the black night with the silver moon
Yes to surrendering to the waves
that crash through your legs with intent
Yes to gasping for breath
in the face of magnitude of a massive mountain
Yes to crying tears overwhelmed
by the beauty of a Van Gogh masterpiece
Yes to the splendour of ice cream
slipping down your throat
Yes to looking into the eyes of a friend
who has been crying
Yes to standing up
when life has knocked you over
Yes to mending
when your insides are minced red raw
Yes to facing the day
when your heart has been splattered across the wall
Yes to reaching out in faith
even when there is only the dark
Yes to having courage to speak out
regardless of whether it is heard or not
Yes to a beautiful Red Rose that opens to full blooms
and petals begin to fall
Yes to rising from the ashes
in the wings of Phoenix
Yes to feeling the exuberance
of breathing in our air
Yes to celebrating the process
just not the end result
Yes to shiver, quiver, tremble,
the vulnerability of feeling love completely
Yes to revealing the truth
even when the risk is rejection
Yes to dancing in the flames of sexual abandon
with the one you love
Yes to surrendering to the beat of a primitive drum
Yes to letting your body open to the quiver
and the ripple of sensual pulse
Yes to having your hair fly free
riding naked on your horse into the ocean
Yes to whisper in your lovers ear
that you love them beyond imagination
Yes to love
that considers the other heart beyond its own
Yes to being strong enough
to be soft enough
to be true to self

Above All…

Yes to learning from love rather then pain
Yes to seeing tenderness as not insane
Yes to reaching out and touching another’s heart
Yes to creative freedom that inspires and ignites
Yes to words that reflect our inner drives
Yes to laughter
that kisses our days with utter delight
Yes to seeing a sparkling jewel
in each day, in each night
Yes to discussion that encourages learning
Yes to questions that convey engagement
Yes to open minds that explore your story
Yes to focus that demonstrates attraction
Yes to collaboration that shares your inner fire
Yes to living life with vitality and vigour
Yes to taking risks to be real
Yes to Kindness that is compassionate

Yes to dance
Yes to love
Yes to freedom
Yes to acceptance
Yes to allowing
Yes to knowing
Yes to giving
Yes to sharing
Yes to yes

Yes to Joie de Vivre
Yes to Seize the day
Yes to Gather ye Rose buds while you may
Yes to sucking the marrow out of life
Yes to living life with Je ne sais quoi
Yes to life living true to self above all
Yes is a gift
Yes is an opening
Yes is an opportunity
Yes is a delight
Yes is Yes
Yes is everything~

YES?

~Anthea...you capture my heart!~

Merry Christmas

2009-12-15T11:03:00.000-08:00

The Snowman - Walking in the air
Uploaded by harkz. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

"Wishing you all
many, many wonderful adventures
full of love
wonder
& blissful
enlightenment."

~Merry Christmas!!!~

frosted beauty

2009-12-09T11:51:00.001-08:00

“The beauty of the rose which fades in the wilting, the fragrance of its life’s breath which lifts the senses are missed more as the rose’s petals wilt and the perfume ghosts away”. . .

Our last rose of the season….
she has been lingering there
in our backyard…
blessing us with her beauty
until this morning…
Mr Frost came a callin’
now she floats within a shell of ice….
holding on just a bit longer…
rejoicing in her new found Glory!

i believe

2009-11-30T13:18:00.000-08:00

~This quote crossed my path just recently...
it deeply spoke to my heart.

If each and everyone of us
could read these words
each day,
before we headed out into the world,
and truly,
deeply inhaled it's meaning,
into our very core...

Wow! Just imagine....~

"I believe
that the very purpose of life
is to be happy.
From the very core of our being,
we desire contentment.
In my own limited experience
I have found that the more
we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
Cultivating a close,
warmhearted feeling for others
automatically puts the mind at ease.
It helps remove whatever fears
or insecurities we may have
and gives us the strength to cope
with any obstacles we encounter.
It is the principal source
of success in life.
Since we are not
solely material creatures,
it is a mistake
to place all our hopes for happiness
on external development alone.

The key is to develop inner peace".

~ Dalai Lama ~

w a v e s

2009-11-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

I am facing west,
looking straight out into the
Arabian Sea.
Forty-four years ago,
I stood on the shores
of this same sea
for the very first time.

I followed my mother cautiously
across the sand
to the water's edge.
I had never
laid eyes on waves.

I stared as they beat out
a slow pulse.
I counted the waves
in cycles of eight,
for I had not yet learned
to count any higher.
After counting to eight
five times,
I began to tire.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

My mother turned and said
that the hours spent watching waves
are not counted in life.

I asked,
"What are the waves saying?"

"The same thing as your watch."

"You mean
tick tock
tick tock,
tick tock?"

"No,not at all,
the waves are saying this:
What are your dreams,
what are your dreams,
what are your dreams? "

~Excerpt from, "Ashes & Snow" ~

Meet Me In The Dark Caverns

2009-11-13T14:34:00.000-08:00

Click On Pic : )))

~ Only you know
what it takes to free yourself. . .
Deep down inside,
in the darkest realms of your soul. . .
you will find the answers.
It is a place that I have dwelled in way to often. . .
sometimes it's hard to crawl back out. . .
but I always come back a better person. ~

Picture is from Page 48 in
" Transformation Soup" ~ SARK~

words of anne

2009-10-27T21:25:00.000-07:00

~ oil pastel by Jabelico ~

"The sea does not reward those
who are too anxious,
too greedy,
or too impatient.
To dig for treasures
shows not only impatience and greed,
but lack of faith.

Patience
patience
patience

is what the sea teaches.

Patience and faith.

One should lie empty,
open,
choiceless as a beach
waiting
for a gift from the sea".

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

Let's Get Weird

2009-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Well,
I don't know
how many years
I have left on this earth. . . so,
I'm
going
to
get
real
weird
with
it. "

~ Danny Devito 2009 ~

The Voice of My Heart

2009-10-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

pencil & ink by Jabelico
(inspired by a beautiful red headed "Goddess"
. . . that I just adore)

“When I finally listen
to the wisdom of my heart.
I begin to understand that time
never takes the precious things away.
All the Beauty and substance in me,
which I mistakenly thought
were lost, are right here
within my reach,
threads to every memorie,
silver cords woven into every new day.
Let me always remember
that time is not a theif,
it is a friend,
a healer,
and a maker of dreams.”

Meeting The Mad Woman

2009-10-09T16:05:00.001-07:00

She is nice
She is kind
She is subtle
She is compliant
She is nurturing
She loves so much
She is sweet…
Oh the feminine beauty we all know,
we all love.
That intrinsic beauty that
belongs to women,
we revel, we indulge,
we dance in the flame of softness.
So tender, so full of delight
I love this side of others and
self…the divine feminine.

Women have throughout history been
iconized for their ability to nurture and build
relationships with family and friends,
rewarded, applauded and admired in fact.
But this is just one side of the story,
there is another that needs to be told…
and that is of the mad woman.

For every hurt that hits her heart
For every disappointment that eats her soul
For every rejection that wounds her mind
For every heart ache that shreds her sensitivity
there needs to be an expression.

For some women it comes out in tears
For others it comes in silence and disappearing
For others it comes out in bitchiness
or passive aggression that is mean.
Others become insecure and are
unable to be a sister to other women.
It comes by her dying inside and losing
touch with who she really is.
And others it comes out in illness,
losing confidence,
losing voice…

But for some it comes out in rage, pure unadulterated anger.
Why is there such a fear of anger?
Is not anger the other side of love?
Is not anger a healthy, normal emotion that
makes the blood explode with fire?
Why is it many people cringe whenever they
see a woman expressing her anger?
Why do some people run from her?
Screaming she has gone hysterical,
crazy, god forbid insane!

But no she is just angry. Passionate!
She is hurt and she has become angry.
Her pain is real. At that moment it is her truth.
It is a raw expression of her soul
Gasping to find breath,
it is her true voice finally finding expression.

Anger is as valid as her sweetness

and without owning it

she is just half a woman.
"Jung" referred to this

as a shadow side.
Our less pretty side

and it was his belief
we needed to embrace

and integrate our shadow side

into ourself

creating light and shade.
Yin/Yang?

We need to dance with anger,
love her, hold her, embrace her

with out fear
that we will be:

abandoned,
rejected…

left again.

She is the wild part of our soul
that is screaming to find a voice.
She is the wild woman

of passion and sexuality
that longs to dance and embrace

every archetype within.

In meeting the mad woman we engage the core self.
We chant to fire and burn with passion
as whole wild women.
After all isn’t anger…another view, another angle,
another lens of Passion?

And is it not passion that attracts our lovers and
creates our art and yes above all makes our
heart start!

Thank you Anthea!

Happiness Is. . .

2009-09-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

. . . new Fall shoes!

With a healthy side dose
of
*** Magical~Ness ***!!!

I found them
at this groovy little
Gypsy thrift store,
just down the road from me!
I think they have
a * magical spell * on them...

They gift me
with the ability
to * float & giggle *
at
any
given
time!!!

Mr. Gibran

2009-09-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

I awoke early this morning...the house was so quiet. Just a few feathered friends outside my window, singing their morning song. A fog had rolled in thru the night. The first cold, crisp morning...in a long time.
There with my daughter, peacefully sleeping next to me. . .
cocooning under our feather bed.
I nestled in a little closer
and thought to myself...
"it surely doesn't get
much better than this".

I lay there for a long time
just watching her sleep...
feeling her warmth,
her breath.
My mind suddenly remembering
Kahlil Gibran
thoughts on children...

He was a wise one,
that Mr. Gibran.

"Your children
are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters
of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you
but not from you.
You may give them
your love
but not your thoughts,
for they have
their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies
but not their souls.
For their souls dwell
in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.

You may strive
to be like them,
but seek not
to make them like you.
For life goes not
backward
nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows
from which your children
as living arrows
are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark
upon the path of the infinite,
and he bends you
with His might
that His arrows
may go swift and far.

Let your bending
in the archer's hand
be for gladness;
For even He loves
the arrow that flies,
so He loves also
the bow that is stable".

~Kahlil Gibran

love is alive

2009-09-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

~ mixed media by Jabelico ~

have a listen:
http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?artist=2005059&vid=324143

the journey

2009-09-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

oil pastel by Jabelico

These days,
I've been on this journey of sorts...
walking this path..
trying to find my way thru the muck
after going thru a very bad
physical experience...
consequences of very bad choices on my part.
I am just trying to stay focused on the good
the beauty of this world...
and trying so hard
to not feel like it is all just bullshit.
It's hard you know
to be positive when one is saturated
by so much negative,
how do we
the hyper sensitive
the guiding lights of the world,
how do we keep it all a glitter?
Who pulls us up out of the murky depths?
When we are sinking...
I feel so small these days
unable to verbally express the fear
that eats away within me.
I am scared.
can I say this to you.
and not be judged?
I am so fragile.
I shake my head in awe of this.

My stupidity
the ignorance that runs thru my veins.

There is too much beauty
too much love
that surrounds me,
yet here I sit
hidden away
crouched in the darkness
away from the world,
carrying the pain
of a life long forgiven,
but not yet forgotten.

Words & riddles
yet what is it
that I seek to understand
to grasp
to fill the hole within my core...
is it loneliness?
madness?
I see it there
lurking around the corner..
in the shadows
the ghosts
all that is unfinished
waiting
for that moment of sanity lost
to swallow me whole.

If one day I disappear into the darkness
please know I tried so very hard
to keep it all
packaged nicely for you...
full of glitter & gold.

true

2009-09-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

mixed media by jabelico

"Please call me
by my true name,
so I can hear
all my cries and laughs
at once,
so I can see
that my joy & pain
are one.

Please call me
by my true name
so I can wake up,
so the door
of my heart
can be left open,
the
door
of
compassion."

~T N H ~

this old guitar

2009-09-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

"This old guitar ain't mine to keep
Just taking care of it now
It's been around for years and years
Just waiting in its old case
It's been up and down the country roads
It's brought a tear and a smile
It's seen its share of dreams and hopes
And never went out of style
The more I play it, the better it sounds
It cries when I leave it alone
Silently it waits for me
Or someone else I suppose

This old guitar
This old guitar
This old guitar

This old guitar has caught some breaks
But it never searched for gold
It can't be blamed for my mistakes
It only does what it's told
It's been a messenger in times of trouble
In times of hope and fear . . .

~ Neil Young ~

a r t

2009-09-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

"Life is so ridiculously
gorgeous,
strange,
heartbreaking,
horrific,
etc.,
that we are compelled
to describe it to ourselves,
but we can't!
We
cannot
do
it!
And so. . .
we make art."

~ Miranda July

the climb

2009-08-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

"I climbed
the endless steps to the sanctuary,
brushing off large spiders
that kept landing on me.
I stood in the rain for hours
waiting for the gates to open.
The guardian of the threshold
wouldn't let me in until I answered
his tricky and sometimes insulting questions.
Through it all,
I maintained
my patience and poise and reverence.
At no time did I give in to
the temptation to curse the difficulties.
And when I finally entered,
when I got my chance to penetrate
to the heart of the rose petal-strewn labyrinth,
my persistence was rewarded.
As I knelt there in amused awe,
face to face with the sacred joke-ster,
I got a useful answer
to the most important question in my life".

What greater adventure is there
than exploring the enigmas of our
very own unique destiny?
What blessings will life bring you?
What challenges will we be invited to dive into?

hmmmmm. . . . .

grace

2009-08-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

~ oil pastel by Jabelico ~

"This morning
I stood on the river bank to pray.
I knew then
that the ancient ones
were wise to pray
for peace and beauty
and not for specific gifts. . .
And I saw that
if one has even a small degree
of the ability
to take into and unto himself
the peace and beauty
that God surrounds himself with,
it is not necessary
to ask for more".

~Edith Warner

human flavor

2009-07-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

r e s t

2009-07-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

~ Within the madness,
I breathe.
Calmly languish
in the dark murky waters of truth.
rest.
acknowledge the pain.
mourn the loss.
be.
thankful.
present.
true.
unjudging.
calm.

Very Few

2009-05-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

"There are very few human beings
who receive the truth,
complete and staggering,
by instant illumination.
Most of them acquire it
fragment by fragment,
on a small scale,
by successive developments,
cellular-ly,
like a laborious mosaic".

~ Anais Nin

i am

2009-05-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

I exist
as I am,

that
is
enough.

~Walt Whitman

Oh! Precious Heart

2009-05-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

I wonder would my heart be found if I cast it out beyond the farthest flowers of the mountaintop, would it fly far and land in a place unknown; never again to trouble me, would I be free? If I swam out into the depths of the ocean and let it go, would it sink and land with a thud for all the weight it bears or would it float on top like a ghost, a phantom, drifting on, lost, alone, being scorched by the sun? If I opened my mouth wide enough and screamed into the void of night, the void of the moon, would my heart spill out of me and tumble along the ground until it found the gnarly roots of the oldest tree, and nestle deep, burrowing deeper into the underground until I no longer felt its painful rhythms? I wonder would it be safe there, I wonder would it still ache there? Would this yearning cease, would it bring me peace? What if I was to plant it beneath the sun flowers on the first day of spring? What if I said ‘I believe it will bloom’, as I tend it with hope? Would I be able to bring my heart back to life, would I be able to see beauty where once I could not?

I look at it now lying limp in my hands, haggard, bruised, dishevelled. I wonder if it’s possible, I wonder should I bother, I wonder should I kiss and love it anyway, even in its current sorry state. And shouldn’t I love you unconditionally; regardless of this mess you call existence? I wonder why you feel so much, I wonder what you really expect to receive and give in this day and age. I wonder how you could still possibly dream and believe in love. I wonder could I pull out that old hat and dress and cover those hurts that seem too silly to share, too shameful to wear without make-up and accessories. Would that help us my dear heart, to carry on as one, to survive this slum? Or is that dress too torn and that hat too stained now to really fool anyone? Another game of hide and seek. For the pain remains beneath the frame, beneath the exterior of that not-so-promising disguise, and I know you want truth, I know you don’t want to hide anymore, I know you hate to be false, I know you want to be loved for your beauty and your pain, for your grace and that which is healing. And as I watch the blood drip, drip, drop, as I watch the glorious red fade from your cheeks, I see it is just I, with you lying sickly in my trembling hands. Do you really think that I could rescue you, could I have that kind of strength? After all we’ve been through together do you really still believe in me, do you really still believe?

I thought I heard a voice on the wind say ‘you’re stronger than you think’ to me, but did I hear right or did I hear wrong, for one can’t be too sure when nothing seems right… Well if you won’t give up than nor shall I. I won’t let sarcasm sit her big fat bottom on the last tiny faerie of hope, I’ll direct her instead to go sit on the past. I’ll call up Baubo to tell us a joke, to lift up her skirt and lighten the dark, and when we laugh, when we are gripping our belly’s and rolling on the floor we shall find something more, we shall find the sight to see love in the morrow, we shall hear the birds calling the dawn. We shall remember that I am you and you are me and together we are whole. I cannot harden or discard you without altering myself, my own state of being, for we came into this life together, you are my blood, my soul, my passion. So come to me with your aching and your beauty, come to me with your love and your wounds and I shall place you within, in that very special place, beneath my breasts where I can nurture you so. I promise to fill you with honor and hope dear heart, I promise to keep you safe from harm. I promise to house you and gift you with love, and open our arms to greet the sun. Yes, even on days when nothing seems fun…

~ Oh Dearest Lily. . .

I Love You for always "Being" there

at just the right time~

OATH

2009-05-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

~ Thank You Brene Brown ~

Be a Kid Again. . .

2009-04-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

"Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Grow a milk mustache.
Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend
even though you wanted both of them for yourself.
Have a staring contest with your cat.
Kiss a frog just in case.
Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no."
Ask "Why?" a lot.
Believe in fairy tales.
Have someone read you a story.
Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants
even if they don't match.
Do a cartwheel.
Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
Make a "slurpy" sound with your straw
when you get to the bottom of a milkshake.
Sit really still for as long as the dog (or cat)
is asleep in your lap.
Find some pretty stones and save them.
Stick your head out the car window
and moo if you see a cow.
Walk barefoot in wet grass.
Giggle at nude statues in a museum.
Make cool screeching noises every time you turn.
Count the colors in a rainbow.
Fuss a little, then take a nap.
Take a running jump over a big puddle.
Giggle a lot for no real reason.
Tap someone on the shoulder
while you stand on their opposite side
and they turn around and no one's there thing.
Enjoy your all-time favorite candy-bar.
(Forget you've heard of calories!)
Throw something and when it lands
make a cool exploding bomb noise.
Squish some mud between your toes.
Buy yourself a helium balloon.
Put an orange slice in your mouth, peel side out,
and smile at people.

Be a kid again"...

Let Nature & The Child Be Your Teacher

2009-04-21T12:01:00.001-07:00

“As a child,
one has that magical capacity
to move among the many eras of the earth;
to see the land as an animal does;
to experience the sky from the perspective of a flower or a bee;
to feel the earth quiver and breathe beneath us;
to know a hundred different smells of mud
and listen unselfconsciously
to the soughing of the trees.”

~Valerie Andrews, A Passion for this Earth

my horoscope said. . .

2009-04-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

"Some things have lived out their usefulness.
Tell them thank you for their presence
releasing them to their next reality.
You must find a place
of contemplation and quiet
for several days.
There may be energies affecting you
from all directions.
You want to be poised
so when challenges appear
you step aside like a tai chi master
letting them flow into the air,
the sky,
the water
and the earth.
This is a good visual for you".

So this is what I did...
headed to the high country of No. California.
...found a peaceful little spot
nestled along a lake
and communed with nature for 5 days.

*sigh*

If I Could

2009-04-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

If I could see the world,
Through the eyes of a child.
What a wonderful world this would be.
There'd be no trouble and no strife,
Just a big happy life.
With a bluebird in every tree.

I could see right, no wrong.
I could see good, no bad.
I could see all the good things,
In life I've never had.
If I could see the world,
Through the eyes of a child.
What a wonderful world this would be.

If I could see the world,
Through the eyes of a child.
Smiling faces would greet me all the while.
Like a lovely work of art,
It would warm my weary heart,
Just to see through the eyes of a child.

I could see right, no wrong.
I could see good, no bad.
I could see all the good things,
In life I've never had.
If I could see the world,
Through the eyes of a child.
What a wonderful world this would be.

~Patsy Cline

Can YOU See

2009-04-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

"Life moves on,
whether we act as cowards or heroes.
Life has no other discipline to impose,
if we would but realize it,
than to accept life unquestioningly.
Everything we shut our eyes to,
everything we run away from,
everything we deny,
denigrate or despise,
serves to defeat us in the end.
What seems nasty,
painful,
evil,
can become a source of beauty,
joy and strength,
if faced with an open mind.
Every moment is a golden one
for those who have the vision
to recognize it as such".

~ Henry Miller

Lilac Love

2009-04-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

The Lilacs are Blooming!!!
The Lilacs are Blooming!!!
My daughters squeals of JOY this week….
we’ve been picking sprigs for the house
every day since!!
Such Heavenly BLISS!!!

Bliss~full Cocooning

2009-03-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

Let It Go

2009-03-06T13:21:00.000-08:00

"Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered
with your old nonsense".

~ Emerson

s e c r e t s

2009-02-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

"Oh the secrets!

The things one could reveal to set ablaze the ravenous minds of the obviously bored…
Oh those mysteries!
The plot could really thicken.
Those sordid, raw details of the life of this woman’s untamed body.
It could even satisfy the scavenging fingers of the gossiping body for maybe a week!
All that’s entwined.
The whole saga’s lifeline.
All the things I suffered alone they would have me suffer again.
They would desire to fondle all the harrowing pieces.
If I was to tell them, that is!

And some may think they know me and how my web has been woven.
Probably summed me up as they tossed round my sorrow.
But as with us all, at some point in our lives
we have all trusted the unworthy.
Had pain thrust at us that’s too sullen to speak of.
Slept with the past while the seasons were changing.
Thought what we shouldn’t have.
Touched what we shouldn’t have.
Ended up, ‘oh no, not here, god I shouldn’t have’.

All those squalid wounds that meander across heart, body,

mind in their own awkward fashion,

hoping there will be no more attention drawn.
Each yearning for the day they can be laid at peace in their very own grave.

To enter through one gate and leave from another.
Reborn.

Whole.

And so it goes on…
Such sinister sickening things one could reveal in splutters and spurts
in the midst of civil conversation!
Vulgar and pathetic. Perverted and twisted.
Unromantic. Unadorned. Naked. Forlorn.
If I wanted to, that is…

For when they see me, they do not see me.
All that is me.
All that has shaped this fragility and nurtured this Strength.
Past the quietness that drapes itself over my awareness.
And into the sensitivity that guides my heart through this realm. And that!

So a guise I do now place over the wildness of my garden,
so they may not know of the noxious weeds that have grown so innocently.
To be safe, to be free…

…And here we lay
Those delicate hidden things and I.
My bones shudder.
My skin crawls with unpleasant things.
Nauseating. Violently writhing.
The angry beast within my womb.
My bloodletting and the commitment-phobe.
All those horrid things I condoned.
All that is here, all that has come before.
It’s shocking and needy. Bitter and greedy.
I pull out those hooks. I jump off that train.
And what of life, what of death?
Why does it seem wretched
almost everywhere I look?

I click my heels as I feel that swift nudge,
saying ‘come on girl your of maverick blood.
Clean the grief from the floor
Peel your heart off that wall.
Ask, just ask, and assistance is yours!
Solace shall be found in the beauty that ensures,
As long as you see me, you shall hold the key to my door’.

…So those oh so sordid things shall be kept for me alone
and those whom I count so dear on my hand.
I will administer the tonic, apply the poultice, inhale the herb.
I will find the way with peace and reserve.

I will nurse and bathe until all that is hurt
Is ready to sleep and awake to rebirth.
Leaving those fragments
those wounds
those tears
that concern.
Healed
and
undisturbed".

~ Oh Dear Lily... my kindred,
thank you for walking this path with me...
for assuring this hope-full heart
that I am not alone.
How I adore you. . . J ~

p r e s e n t

2009-02-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

"Have you had the experience
of stopping so completely,
of being in your body so completely,
of being in your life so completely,
that what you knew
and what you didn't know,
that what had been and what was yet to come,
and the way things are right now
no longer held even the slightest hint
of anxiety or discord?
It would be a moment of complete presence,
beyond striving,
beyond mere acceptance,
beyond the desire to escape
or fix anything or plunge ahead,
a moment of pure being,
no longer in time,
a moment of pure seeing,
pure feeling,
a moment in which life simply is,
and that "isness" grabs you by all your senses,
all your memories, by your very genes,
by your loves,
and
welcomes you home".

~ JK

2009-02-10T00:14:00.000-08:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step,
all right now

making the best of it
playing the cards you get
you're not alone in this

there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope

cold in a summer breeze
yeah, you're shivering
on your bended knee
still, though your heart is sore
and the heavens pour
like a willow bending with the storm,
you'll make it

running against the wind
playing the cards you get
something is bound to give

there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope

there's hope for the hopeless
hope for the hopeless
there's hope

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOSUvgNMuWA&feature=related

I HAD A DREAM. . .

2009-02-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

~oil pastel by Jabelico~

" To look at art
is to live a thousand times
in a thousand places.
To collapse
the aching stretch
of time & space,
to expand the nutshell
in which we are bounded
with our private dreams."

~ Mary Holmes

I ~ B E L I E V E

2009-01-30T13:45:00.000-08:00

~ This is my daughter
she is 8 years old.
Her name is Bella Blu,
but likes to be called Grass.
Here with her,
is her best friend.
They met in pre school 5 years ago,
they were both 3-1/2 years old.
They haven't left each others side since.

Each, always thinking of the other.
At the moment ,
they are on a mission to find
Captain Hook's treasure!
...and the secret passage to NeverLand!!

If you have never believed in magic
or soul mates
or kindred spirits??
Just come hang out with these two for the afternoon.....~

M. WARD

2009-01-24T20:02:00.000-08:00

~ My newest Musical obsession.....I adore this artist,
I can't believe I am JUST now discovering him!!!

Have a Listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToEPFDIzhNA&feature=related

C o n n e c t e d

2009-01-16T10:19:00.000-08:00

Growing up in the woods of Maine ….my favorite toy as a child was Nature. When I was not in school, I was out playing in the woods, the trees, the rivers. Of course back then, I did not realize what sacred time this was. I remember so clearly in my mind, being deep in the woods, plopping myself down on the forest floor, nestled in the fallen leaves ( I can still smell the earth) & just laying there for hours, looking up at the dancing treetops, listening to the quiet beauty of the forest. God. It was beautiful.

Sometimes, suddenly…. in the middle of my day, those same feelings of complete oneness, connectedness ….SPIRIT, come to me.

Envelops me in it’s magic. I’m afraid to breath for fear it will disappear….I just want to stay wrapped forever in it’s glow.

These are the words that came to me one day describing those feelings so deep within….

~ It seems to come
from another time,
another place.
I remember it well,
a time of innocent knowing.
Pure brilliance
given forth from Mother earth.

Connection…

Spirit…

In these fleeting moments
within the darkness,
I come to a clearly etched path
of complete & utter connected oneness,
to all that surrounds me.
Not surface,
not mildly so,
but drenched in internal euphoria.~

T I M E

2009-01-12T12:33:00.000-08:00

" There are all sorts of things we don't have in life,
but time is not one of them.
Time is all we do have.
One lifetime under this name,
to produce a body of work that says...
this is how I saw the world.
Your work is worthy...
...of whatever time it takes".

~ Jan Philips

Be Still My Beating Heart

2008-12-16T19:58:00.001-08:00

So....
after the "I haven't slept for 2 days,
taking care of kids, sick with the flu" daze....

...off I went today for a bit of an afternoon siesta....
to awake to the most sweetest, angelic little voices.....

It went something like this...

"mama is going to love this.
ya, she loves green so much.
she likes blue too,
we should put some blue in it too.
ya.
and some of those leaves too,
you know how she loves nature.
and some shells.
do you think we should paint the shells?
well, maybe just some of them......."

....and so it went on & on...
as I sat on the stairs...listening...
hidden quietly away
from their beautiful little secret creation...
as my heart melted word for word...
my girls....
sitting up in my studio...
creating something for their mama...
with so much love...
I thought I would burst .....
into a billion tiny specs of HAPPY....

~ Mi Hermano

2008-12-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

~ Sometimes...
there are people in your life...
people that you love so deeply,
people that just don't have the strength they need,
to do what they know is right...
people that you know are good,
deep in the core..
people you just can not reach...
blinded by there own demons...
they stumble & fall.
over & over...
over & over...
...and you hope
...and you love...
...and you pray
maybe this time?
...but no, not yet.

~ I love you dear brother. . . a song for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT69zOTNa8Q

"She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows
With her bare feet laughing

I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell
In my disasters

I walk on down the hill
Through grass grown tall
And brown and still
It's hard somehow
To let go of my pain

On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field
Collecting rain

Will I always feel this way
So empty
And estranged?

And of these cut throat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings
I have grown weary

If through my cracked and dusty
Dime store lips
I spoke these words out loud
Would no one hear me?

Outside the rain is tapping
On the leaves
To me it sounds like
They're applauding

Will it always feel this way
So empty
So estranged?

Well I looked my demons in the eyes
Lay bare my chest
Said do your best
To destroy me

I've been to hell and back
So many times
I must admit
You kinda bore me

There's a lot of things
That can kill a man
There's a lot of ways
To die
Yes, and some already did
And walk beside me

There's a lot of things
I don't understand
So many people lie
It's the hurt I hide that fuels
The fire inside me

Will I always feel this way
So empty
So estranged"?

~ Ray Lamontagne

Two

2008-12-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

"Two parts.

There is the one who is wildly independent and
wishes to live out this life following the wind.
And the one who loves the comfort of her home and
needs the familiar, and her family close.

There is the one who is soft ~ too soft for this world,
and the one who can shut it off and never look back.

There is the one who is loyal and fiercely protective
and in for the long haul,
and the one who feels she cant breathe
when saying the word commitment.

There is the one whose words are sharp and cutting
and the one who dares not to make another sad.

One walks tall in the high heels
and the other is simply a barefoot girl.

There is the one who can love
a million different people,
and the one who prefers that love
be only returned by just one.

One part naked.
one part closed up tight.

One part open.
One part the keeper of secrets never to be told.

One part fearless.
One part stricken.

There is the one who is the life of the party
and the one who just wants to be left alone and surrounded by silence.

There is the one who is so sure,
and knows exactly what she wants
and where she is going,
and the one who feels she just stepped onto the
school bus for the very first time.

There is the one who is forever playful
and a hunter of laughter
and the one who cries every single damn day.

I am two.
I am divided.
I am split.

and sometimes it feels like a hell of a babysitting job".

~ Thank you Jenn...
for letting me know,
that I am not alone. ~